We all go through periods of time in our lives when we find ourselves feeling overwhelmed, like we are going around in circles, that life has just become too difficult or too busy and we just feel a bit lost. But when you are struggling it seems to be never-ending and results in you not taking action that you really must pay attention. This blog is designed to help you know what to do if you’re struggling, however that may look. If this is where you feel that you are then you need to evaluate the reasons why this is happening. It is likely that you will be doing at least 2 or 3 of the following;
People pleasing – This one is very easy to slip into and many people do this. Saying ‘Yes’ to most or every request that comes your way – especially from loved ones. This can even be to the detriment of yourself. You may delay your plans to another day so that you can fulfil the task you have now said YES to…. In the end if you consistently say ‘yes’ for long enough it can lead to a lack of boundaries if not addressed.
If saying NO seems too harsh or too difficult to muster up – take a deep breath in place of saying yes and then try saying things like ‘let me check my diary and get back to you’ – this gives you time to think it through and make sure what you’re considering is not going to interfere with your own plans or supports your people pleasing habit. Saying YES to yourself will allow you to free time and energy to do the things you want to do for others.
Self- sabotage – this can be any kind of bad habit that you know does not serve you, but you do it anyway – from people pleasing or eating an unhealthy diet to addictions. Done consistently these can knock your energies out of balance and interfere with any progress you want to make.
Take some time out to do a little research and make some new choices for yourself that are healthy, balanced, and supportive. This will allow your energy to be more in alignment which in turn will help you to move forward.
Your daily routine does not suit the way you work or want to live – by this I mean you have times in the day where you function at your most optimum level for any given topic or activity and times when you are not at your best.
Re-think your schedule and make space at the right time for those activities that fulfil you.
Lack of conscious focus – you may be allowing yourself to pay attention far more to the things you are unhappy with, or perhaps you are turning your thoughts to the past when you believe your life was better. This can hold you in a place where you do not move forward.
Make a conscious choice to keep guiding your thoughts and focus towards those people and things you love in your life right now. Work on this daily at every opportunity – there are so many golden moments to just stop and be grateful.
Not taking action – you can probably list all the reasons why you do this which is great BUT justifying your non-action will keep you stuck in perpetual non-serving cycle.
Employ the 5 second rule by counting yourself down and out of your head from 5 to 1 and then immediately take action with whatever comes in for you that move you towards your goal.
Not being honest with yourself – for you to be in a place where you feel that you can move forward with some clear direction you must first be truly open and honest about where and who you are.
Drop those ‘should’s’ because ultimately if they are a should then it is likely they come from other people’s expectations of you rather than what you think or feel you need to be doing. If it comes from you it is more likely to be a ‘I will’ or ‘I plan to…. at/on….’
Lack of boundaries – living your life without boundaries can be truly exhausting, leading you to taking on too much, no time for you and eventually resentment at doing the very things you love to do – helping others.
NO is a complete sentence, clear, concise and decisive. Learn to use this word or alternative options for it – as long as they too give clarity on your position. If time is an issue – carve out regular time for yourself and don’t budge on it, hold it as sacred.
Not listening when you internally reject something or someone. Not taking notice of your inner guidance system. Do this for long enough and it will become quiet or even silenced!
Reconnect with your higher self by asking yourself why are you rejecting this – is it because it really is no good for you or is it because you are holding onto a misguided belief that needs working on to heal.
You limit your self-care by giving more energy to others’, placing other people needs above your own (people pleasing) or not taking time out on a regular basis for rest/relaxation/meditation etc.
Put your own needs first – before you do anything ensure these have been scheduled in to realistic times every day.
Maybe you’re being unrealistic in what you can achieve in a day so you create ‘to do’ lists that are endless, daunting and are impossible to achieve.
Prioritise what is the most important – YOU need to be top of the list by the way and then follow this with the rest in order of importance, then get them done in that order – you will find it empowers you to continue.
Having now identified the reasons why you are struggling you need to work on those to move past them and allow yourself to be in a place of realistic clarity that supports you to move forward. You may be able to address these on your own, but if not remember to reach out to other people for help, be that your friends, family or even a mentor/coach that you feel aligned to.
To receive more guidance and clarity on those that have come up for you, please do not hesitate to contact me for a reading…
Simply send me a Direct Message on Facebook, Message me on What’s app 07789693905 or email me @ [email protected]
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